I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
