sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
