the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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