That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Even my vagina gasped.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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