that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
