why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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