me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
