You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize