why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
