turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
