Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
