Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
