one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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