Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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