You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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