why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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