I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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