Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
