I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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