Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
