the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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