I can't watch pbs sober anymore
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
