Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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