24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
