how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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I have surprise drugs for everyone
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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