My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
