I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
