Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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