She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Damn victory sex feels great
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