dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
