i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
