that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
