Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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