Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
