**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
