I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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