who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
