I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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