Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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