woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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