she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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