Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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