Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
