I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
