I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
