What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
