Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
