did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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