I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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