you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
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I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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