He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
