I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
