I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
