Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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