Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
