She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
