I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
