i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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