I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
