it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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